Tuesday, February 2, 2010


So much for New Year's resolutions I suppose!!! Maybe one blog a month will work??? HAHAHAHAHA

WHO ever would have thought that it would take crazy mixed-up Zimbabwe to give me the artists' life?? But I get to hang out with musicians, sing a little...direct, act, TRY to dance....can't paint, don't paint, but I know painters!!!

Unrelated....I now have dogs - two darling full-grown (CHAMPION) Ridgebacks - sooo sweet - just big babies really but first time I've really owned dogs in a decade!!

As I have a class right now - who are working independently, but I really SHOULD be watching....I'll leave this as it is....Maybe next time I'll write with more depth and wit and soul.

THE problem is....my life is good just now...and it's HARD to create, really, when you're satisfied!!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

who needs Dali with this surrealistic life?

So it’s the weekend after Valentine’s day. I had a relaxing one over in Gweru, chilling in “resort” Africa. I still prefer the wildness of the bush and long to get back there!

In all the struggles I see about me and all the struggles I’ve felt personally, I’ve finally begun to turn the corner to make peace with my life here. Realizing, with humility, that my struggles were really MINE, and just deep down gunk that I hadn’t dealt with as a grown-up. The solitude and harshness of the land, has pushed those to the surface, and thus begins the process of once again, shedding and struggling against the lobster shell, to be vulnerable to grow into my bigger one.

We have a new gardener, that makes 2! And no maid. He needed work and my housemate is kind. I was a bit freaked, with good reason – that’s how robbers get you – play on your sympathy and then case your joint. But when I met him, I was overwhelmed and so glad we have him part time. He is old and kind and like everyone else, just trying to get by. I had to go into the house, close the door and just collapse in anger and frustration at the damn government who are liars and murderous thieves who are crazy paranoid to see insurgency all around, when people are just trying to LIVE THROUGH THE DAY. Damn them for making people desperate enough to beg and steal and harden my heart from really helping where I can. Vigilance is one thing – hardness is another. Add that scale to my heart that needs to be softened.

Only in Zim….we were flagged by a policeman on the road. He was friendly and chatty and then wanted a beer from our cooler. (Better than asking for forex, which I’m LOATHE to part with), oh that I had a camera – add that to my weekly surrealism.

Art Imitating life???

04 Jan 09

“how much money and where does it go?” So penned Aaron Sorkin (who’s, let’s just face it, a minor deity of language command!) in an episode of West Wing. The line was delivered to the Congolese Ambassador upon the kidnapping of an American journalist. Upon replying that the Congolese Government does not deal with terrorists, the retort was , “The Congolese government is a MYTH!” Now, keep the first sentence about every bloody facet of life, take the second sentence and replace Congolese for Zanu, and we have a textbook example of life imitating art! And oh how I wish I were being my usual hyped-up overmelodramatic self!!

Example one – upon traveling out to Nyanga recently – there were SEVERAL “police” checkpoints. And I use that term loosely. Highway unarmed uneducated bandits is more like it. And apparently their ONLY job description is to stop vehicles, pretend to look at paperwork they ask for, which I’m pretty sure they can’t read or understand. Look around inside the vehicle for whatever it is they can appropriate is their only purpose. I swear as we were stopped – they didn’t even look at paperwork, just looked inside the vehicle to ask what we were eating. We gave over some Christmas cookies. Sigh.

Example two. Our power (Zesa) went out on Friday at 1pm. And as it was not on 12 hours later (the usual for an out), I presumed there was a bigger issue. There was - ALLEGEDLY – there were two fuses out that the entire company could not afford to replace. There was a neighbourhood “collection.” They say collection, I say shakedown. At twenty dollars a house – the thing was up and running within a couple of hours. Will someone please explain in a country that produces NOTHING (except cholera and ineptness) was able to magically procure fuses that fast? And now we’re back to “how much money and where does it go?” For that truly is what makes Zimbabwe go round. Surely the ancients who founded the “Great Zimbabwe” upon which the country was renamed upon independence (Which that in itself is a misnomer) look down from wherever they are and shake their head in disgust upon a group that turned upon ITS OWN people to destroy for their own greedy good. And a leadership of liars, beggars and thieves, merely produces a trickle down population of the same. Profiteering and bullying – this is the great Zim legacy.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Rapid repsonse....

and convenient,

Here in Zim, when I see those words, either on a security truck or an advert – I just laugh, sometimes out loud even. For nothing is quite as paradoxical as the idea of ANYTHING being rapid or convenient here. It’s so primitive at times that I fully FULLY expect to see a Tyrannosaurus Rex cross my path. Right now it’s 1830, I’m at school and it’s DARK. Zesa cut at 1805. Only because I charged my laptop today AND there’s a radio tower where I can get wireless, am I even having a moment of sanity.

Yet I’m addicted to communication, to being in the KNOW. To NOT feeling like I’m cut off from everything. The phones – this past Friday there was an insane spike in tariffs. One SMS cost about one million. That happened within an hour. And since a month ago – they left the LOGICAL system of contracts, everyone has to use pre-paid cards (and good luck getting them!) But for most of the weekend, most of the city was cut off from communication. The international lines were down, and most of the Internet servers went black for the weekend. My official one is still acting quite off. I was going batty today. I can live without power, water, decent food, supplies, and even live with slow internet – but NON EXISTENT comms – oh that’s enough to make my eyes bleed!!! But if I must live the life of LOST, cut off on this “island” that the world forgot – I had damn well better have Sayid and Sawyer running

Naturally, since I originally wrote this, the rules changed again - because the economy is run by morons and uncontrollable, everything is now dollarized. So our phones are in the US dollar and ALMOST as expensive as using a sat phone!! Aigh!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

putting the pieces together

My shattered pieces required civilization at Christmas - therefore - I fled to where I usually go to clear my head - London!!! It took me five minutes there to feel like a human being again. To feel compassion and kindness for strangers, to feel like ME in my own skin again. For I've lost sight of that - lost sight of a lot of things. Truth be told - I am still ripped and shredded from the wounds of losing my father. That's hard to admit - for it's been three years and I should bloody well be over it? Oh so wrong. For when Daddy died - I faked life - living the American culture and just staying busy - dulling my senses on shopping and all the dull delights that numb. And although Zim has it's utter horrors - it has it's beauty as well. So for the new year- I am resolved to make my peace with what is left of Zimbabwe and hope against hope that the world will pay attention and help to stop this madness. By the world - I mean the rest of Africa - to MAN UP and take care of the madman. For it's not the west's place.

But back to London and JOY. I swear I have reverse Seasonal affective -meaning - grey and overcast makes me at my most alive!!! Bright and sunshiny and cloudless (unless I'm at an ocean) makes me listless and grouchy. Hence I spent an entire morning at Hyde park...it was wonderfully Dickensian grey and I loved it!! Had time to clear my head - while I was surrounded by life and bustle and things that WORK and true customer SERVICE (an absolutely unheard of concept here), as well as constant information. I felt whole again - like I could quit fighting so much. Somewhere I've lost sight of myself - I know that reads uber melodramatic, but that's the best way I can describe it.

Once I get around to posting again - lets hope I'm less cryptic!!!

Monday, November 3, 2008

In which Guinea Fowl made me sad....

Tis silly, I KNOW, but tis true!! Today, I was walking across the 22 acre lush park that is my campus, and for ONCE I had on shoes!!! I heard the annoying honk/screech of one of our herd? flock? gaggle? of guinea fowl, usually razor-blades-to-my-ears awful, but at least there's an end. Not so with this instance, he would NOT stop and I was impatient and quick to temper with him. Until I realized - he was NOT with the flock (I prefer gaggle for the simple alliteration), and was merely crying out to be found. Then I was sad, and almost frantic to help point him toward his fowl brethren. Sure enough, around a corner, there they were and I wrangled him a bit toward them.

Me being me and putting WAY too much thought and personification and allegory into things sometimes, had the moment to ponder how many times I do just that when I've lost my way, lost my gaggle and feel alone, overlooked, abandoned and left behind?

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thank you for flying Zim Air!

Air Zimbabwe!!

How true and how fall- on- your -ass -laughing!!!!

I know I haven't posted in awhile but I've been too busy sourcing things - for those of you in the US - think of me next time you're in Target or Kroger!!!! Stories later!!