My shattered pieces required civilization at Christmas - therefore - I fled to where I usually go to clear my head - London!!! It took me five minutes there to feel like a human being again. To feel compassion and kindness for strangers, to feel like ME in my own skin again. For I've lost sight of that - lost sight of a lot of things. Truth be told - I am still ripped and shredded from the wounds of losing my father. That's hard to admit - for it's been three years and I should bloody well be over it? Oh so wrong. For when Daddy died - I faked life - living the American culture and just staying busy - dulling my senses on shopping and all the dull delights that numb. And although Zim has it's utter horrors - it has it's beauty as well. So for the new year- I am resolved to make my peace with what is left of Zimbabwe and hope against hope that the world will pay attention and help to stop this madness. By the world - I mean the rest of Africa - to MAN UP and take care of the madman. For it's not the west's place.
But back to London and JOY. I swear I have reverse Seasonal affective -meaning - grey and overcast makes me at my most alive!!! Bright and sunshiny and cloudless (unless I'm at an ocean) makes me listless and grouchy. Hence I spent an entire morning at Hyde park...it was wonderfully Dickensian grey and I loved it!! Had time to clear my head - while I was surrounded by life and bustle and things that WORK and true customer SERVICE (an absolutely unheard of concept here), as well as constant information. I felt whole again - like I could quit fighting so much. Somewhere I've lost sight of myself - I know that reads uber melodramatic, but that's the best way I can describe it.
Once I get around to posting again - lets hope I'm less cryptic!!!
